Because of Him
by Midnighstar
Summary: Kagura's thoughts on Naraku after the battel. A songfic.


Because of Him

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the song by Kelly Clarkson.

Words (the story) Words (the song) 

Kagura sat on the edge of a rock that led to a deep valley. She was watching the sunset and couldn't help but think of her master, her so called father, the man she despised more than the critters crawling on the ground. Ever since Naraku had perished from going up against the two inu-brothers, Kagura just couldn't help but think of her da……her master. That's what he was, not her dad, her master. After a dad wouldn't put their daughter through something like that….would they?

_I will not make the same mistakes that you did_

_I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery_

_I will not break, the way you did, you fell so hard_

I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far 

Kagura absolutely refused to let herself get like him. He was cruel, harsh, greedy, and conceited. She was to make sure that she never ended up being driven to the point of risking your life just for power. She might be a little power hungry but she was nowhere near the extent of what Naraku was. She knew deep down inside that his heart must have had some kind of compassion somewhere along the line…maybe a long time ago. When she looked into her father…her master's eyes she saw some despair in there. Many times, she felt sorry for him. She was not one to break so easily.

_Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you, I find it hard to find it hard to trust, not only me,_

_But everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid_

**Kagura would never admit it but she didn't really trust anybody. She's the kind of person who trust knowledge not your emotions, but when they start getting in the way, she begins to not only trust those around her, but herself . it was like he always kept a leash on her. Like if he knew she would turn against him she would have been a troublesome foe, like the inu-brothers. She was afraid that if she gave her heart to someone that she would be left standing in the dust. Maybe that's why Sesshomaru and her seem to connect to one another all of the time.**

_I lose my way, and its not too long before you point it out_

_I cannot cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes_

_Im forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life_

_My heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with_

**In midst of remembering there were the moments were Kagura even now still hated him with a passion. When people said to her 'You have no heart!' they didn't know just how true that was. Naraku always kept her heart in his hand, if she was to betray him he would kill her in an instant. But there were the times were he could have killed her like when he found out she helped Sesshomaru through the barrier to the tomb. He could have killed her but chose not to. If she was to make one mistake, of course either him or Kanna would be the first ones to point it out. If she was to cry, she'd be known as a weakling. Kagura learned at a very young age not to cry around her father/master. She was hard core and tough, nothing could break her, besides the longing to be free. **

_I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep._

_I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me._

_You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain._

_And now I cry in the middle of the night, doin the same damn thing_

**Tears welled up in her eyes. The look on Naraku's face when the Wind-Scar and Tokijin were striking him down, is one she would never forget. She remembered the night when Naraku went human until dawn, and his "stupid human emotions" were getting to him, he called her in to his chambers. She was only maybe about a few weeks old but was fully grown physically and mentally, emotionally she still had shards of her "childhood" in her. She awoke the other night to Sesshomaru shaking her gently. She didn't realize that she was crying in her sleep. It had obviously upset the youkai lord for the only one he showed care to was Rin. She noticed then that Naraku and Sesshomaru really were complete opposites. Sesshomaru really did care behind that cold exterior, where as for Naraku, he only cared for himself and to hell with everyone else. **

_Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk_

_Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt_

_Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything_

_Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in_

**She tried. Oh, how she tried. However no matter how hard she did, she could never forget the nights with going without food, having her heart squeezed left and right, having to kill innocent people ever other day, having to kidnapped innocent children. It was a little to much for her. Yes she might be a youkai, and yes she might seem rough on the edges but Kagura still had feelings too. If she had her way, almost all of those things she would never dream of doing, however some of the people she killed, really did need to be rid of this earth. It was always going to be with her until it was her time to go. **

_Because of you I'm ashamed of my life, because its empty_

_Because of you, I am afraid_

**Most people thought that she was empty, cold, and arrogant…….ok maybe a little on the arrogant side but she really did have feelings, after all she was a female right? Every time some one calls her the spawn of Naraku she hangs her head down in shame. However even though she is still afraid to trust people, even though she's ashamed of what her life used to be, even though that she has all those bad memories she tries to get by. Finally she knows that she's not doing this alone. With Sesshomaru's love, trust, and wisdom, and Rin's undying loyalty they help her cope. Kagura laughed in spite her self, she realized she has what Naraku could never get. Kagura sighed as she heard one of her handmaids come and fetch her. **

"**Lady Kagura, lord Sesshomaru sent me to tell you its almost dinner time."**

"**Alright, alright I'm coming." She said**

**She stood up and looked up at the sky and whispered to the wind **

"**You see me now Naraku? If your were still around I would rein over you, look at me now dad, I'm queen of all the Western lands!" she whispered with tears in her eyes **

_**Because of you**_

A/N: What did you think? Sorry if I made anybody mad by coupling up Sesshomaru and Kagura. Anyways! I would love to know what you think of it! PLEAE REVIEW!


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